How To Have An Amicable Divorce

Often, when couples are involved in divorce and financial remedy proceedings they can become embroiled in disputes regarding issues relating to their finances and children, which can impact any relationship they have after their divorce has been finalised.

However, a divorce doesn’t necessarily have to be acrimonious. It can be an amicable process. To ensure a civil split, there are a few key things for individuals to bear in mind.

Top tips on having an amicable divorce

1. Don’t apportion blame for the breakdown of the marriage

It’s often easy for a person in a relationship to blame their partner for the breakdown of the marriage. This isn’t helped by the fact that to divorce you must prove the marriage has irretrievably broken down due to one of five facts, those being:

1. Adultery;
2. Unreasonable behaviour;
3. Two-year desertion;
4. Two-year separation with the consent of the other party; or
5. Five-year separation.

If the other party does not agree with the blame that has been placed on them then they can defend the divorce.

The truth is that neither party may be solely to blame for the breakdown of the marriage. It could have been caused by the couple drifting apart due to changing personal interests or advancing their own careers.

That’s why the introduction of the ‘no-fault’ divorce bill to Parliament in June 2020 was such a significant moment in divorce law history. Many family lawyers consider the current laws to be outdated, having been set out in 1973, and to simply increase animosity and acrimony in already difficult circumstances.

The new bill, when it’s brought in, will replace the five facts with a requirement to provide a statement of irretrievable breakdown. An aggrieved spouse will no longer be able to contest the decision of their spouse to divorce, and the Court will be able to make a conditional order after a 20-week ‘reflection’ period has passed.

2. Concentrate on what’s most important

When there’s already a lot of tension, it can be easier for one or both parties to dispute every aspect of it, for example, the assets from the marriage. This can delay the divorce further and worsen the relationship.

It’s recommended that each divorcing person thinks about what’s most important to them, for instance, finances, the home, etc. and then discuss them in a calm manner with their ex-partner as early as possible.

3. Be honest

When divorcing, the court asks that both parties provide full and frank disclosure of all their financial circumstances. In some cases, parties will try to hide assets to stop them from being taken into account in proceedings.

There is also the possibility that a person may attempt to dispose of assets, transferring them into the name of another person or by reducing their equity ownership of a property or spending or transferring earnings.

If the other party and the court finds out, the hidden assets will be included in the financial settlement between the divorcing parties. There is also the possibility the individual could be penalised for hiding their assets, including paying for the other side’s legal costs or being ruled against less favourably.

If it is discovered that a person did not disclose all their assets at a later date, they can, in some cases, reopen the financial case.

4. Think about the children

It’s painful to see a marriage end in divorce and that situation is only intensified if children are involved. This is why keeping things friendly is of paramount importance. By agreeing on aspects of the divorce in an amicable way, including who the children will live with or spend weekends with, for example, it means both separating parties will be able to co-parent successfully going forwards.

5. Settle things through mediation or collaborative law methods

Not all divorces have to go through court and potentially become acrimonious. The process can often be resolved via Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) proceedings such as collaborative law and mediation. Both of these methods aim to resolve key aspects in a fair, constructive way – face-to-face. Despite the restrictions currently in place as a result of the coronavirus pandemic, ADR can still take place virtually via video conference with mediators and collaborative lawyers.

Collaborative law enables parties to discuss and agree on how the financial matters and arrangements for children will be dealt with, at their own pace, in meetings with the support and guidance of specially accredited collaborative solicitors. If appropriate, any agreement reached, particularly in respect of financial matters, can be made legally binding.

Mediation involves the parties meeting together with a trained, impartial mediator to assist in resolving their disputes. The mediator does not give legal advice in favour of either party but both can have access to legal advice away from the mediation sessions.  Again, any agreement reached in respect of children or matrimonial finances can be made legally binding.

Going through a divorce is never going to be an easy process. However, by having an amicable divorce, the benefits are a better relationship with your ex-partner and reaching a friendly financial settlement in respect of your matrimonial assets.